When the sun just doesn’t shine

Lately I have found myself searching for motivation. I have always been on the spectrum of procrastination, but over the last few years I have gradually shuffled further down the gradient. I blame myself…clearly, but I don’t think the situation is as black and white as some people make it out to be. Through nature, and nurture, each person develops an individual personality. For people who do not procrastinate, it’s easy to look on and say “Hey, I get up every day without an alarm and spend the first hour of my day meditating and working out. You’re no different, you just have to do it.” Well, I mean, I am different. We all are. And that is what makes this world a beautiful cacophony. Telling someone to just stop procrastinating is akin to telling a depressed person to stop being sad. It is not that simple.

Aside from ones upbringing, there are current external factors that weigh heavily on a person’s ability to be productive. For me, the realization came not to long ago when I saw a posting for a job that I would love. I started to evaluate my current job and came to a startling conclusion. I don’t really care for my line of work. Don’t get me wrong, I love serving my community, but after almost 5 years, the novelty of my position has worn off. Now this doesn’t mean that anyone who isn’t “thrilled” in their current employment should just up and leave, but you should evaluate your reasons for staying. For me it was job security. I became complacent because outside of a few obvious “no-nos”, there really isn’t much fear of getting fired. And I could glide like that for 30 years and retire with a pension and a pat on the back. That’s cool and all, but then what. At 57 years old I would still be able to pick up a hobby or travel or do…whatever I wanted.

But I don’t want to wait till I’m 57. I don’t want to wait a t all. the time is now. This blog is part of the shift for me back in the other direction on the gradient. I love to write. And although I have let my talents dwindle in the recesses of my mind, they are still there. My goal is to reintroduce myself to the past time that I once loved. It is going to be ugly. At times, it may even be cringy. As with most things, there will be bumps along the road. There will be times that I decide I’m going to hang it up and just stick to my 9-5. But I will get past that, and so can you.

What do you love? What would you be doing right now if money wasn’t an object? Can you find some way to incorporate that in to your life now? Make an effort. There is a reason that you love the things you love. It’s not an accident. Chase it. Fight for it. Refuse to be mediocre. Find the spark within you that is going to ignite your passion. And don;t give up. When the road gets rough, don’t veer off. Be the person that 12-year-old you dreamed you would be.

 

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